1. On Fire Has a Problem

Here at On Fire, we try not to hyperbolize too much, but real talk: we are on the verge of death over here. Between the three of us in this room, we have had two muffins and a bacon, egg and cheese from Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s 5 p.m. We are pretty sure that there are people in the world who have eaten more and literally died.

The worst part? None of us have Dooley Dollars.

We’re not going to cross the line too intensely and awkwardly compare this to a horrible atrocity like some types of people, but this is bad.

We honestly have two legitimate options right now: DUC or suicide. We just had a 2-1 vote in favor of the DUC, so we are probably going to end up DUC-ing it, but we’ll keep you updated.

2. Some Teams are Good, Others are Bad

This weekend we learned a lot in college football. We learned that Alabama and Oregon are without a doubt the two best teams in the NCAA, and the University of South Florida (USF) is definitely the worst team in the NCAA.

Even though one of our own, Ryan Smith, is a turncoat and wrote a column praising Johnny Manziel, we here at On Fire were ecstatic to see him beaten at his own house. Yes, we hate Alabama too. But if there is one team that we would want to see Alabama win against, it is the Texas A&M Johnny Manziels.

Yes, Manziel played a great game. But he was also really sloppy [insert tirade about how he is so immature and has no respect for the game of football]. Alabama’s defense made mistakes, like all young defenses do, but at the end of the day, Alabama showed us that they have the best running game and offensive line in the country. Their defense remains top-five, and A.J. McCarron is a lot more than “just” a game manager.

We also learned that USF is the worst team maybe in the history of Division I football. Seriously. So far they are 0-3 with losses to McNeese State (La.), Michigan State and Florida Atlantic. That is absolutely absurd when you consider McNeese state is not a D-1 team, and Florida Atlantic was 0-2 going into the game. Michigan State is meh at best.

Gotta love that new American Conference. Can’t wait to see Louisville awkwardly pull a Notre Dame and slip into the National Title this year and get their asses handed to them by a superior Bama/Oregon team. A fitting end to the BCS.

Emory Wheel
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The Emory Wheel was founded in 1919 and is currently the only independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University. The Wheel publishes weekly on Wednesdays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions.

The Wheel is financially and editorially independent from the University. All of its content is generated by the Wheel’s more than 100 student staff members and contributing writers, and its printing costs are covered by profits from self-generated advertising sales.