Doolino Knows Best: The Finals Countdown

DoolinoDear Doolino,

Now that Thanksgiving is over, I have to prepare for finals. After visiting loved ones back home and pigging out on pumpkin pie and turkey, I have zero motivation to study. Honestly, at this point, I can’t wait to open presents, drink eggnog and jam to “Jingle Bell Rock.” How do I find the motivation to study and get through finals?

Yours truly,

Unmotivated Santa

Dear Unmotivated Santa,

Even from the afterlife, I completely understand your plight. The holiday season is always a great time to pretend to get along with everyone and drink your body weight without being judged. And the last thing you want to do is study a semester’s worth of notes and lectures for five classes. As hard as it may be to concentrate, you must stop daydreaming about red and green and focus on the colors in your astronomy textbook.

Finals are an important and large part of your final grade in most classes, so I suggest you discard all distractions for the time being and begin to appreciate the library. It might be helpful to find a study buddy; both of you can motivate each other to get through one more chapter of the textbook. For quantitative courses such calculus, it is crucial to have the right playlist. Avoid all holiday tunes and go for motivational music instead. Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” is always the right move.

While grades do not determine who you are, they sure are important. Good luck, Unmotivated Santa. I’m sure you’ll leave your last exam “Jingle Bell Rock”-ing with joy!

Doolino

Dear Doolino,

I am a Goizueta Business School senior, and I’m going to be graduating this summer. However, I still don’t have a job offer from any of the Fortune 500 companies. All my friends in the B-School have already found jobs and are finalizing those five-figure salaries. I’m finding it very difficult to spend time with my friends, considering this is all they talk about. What should I do? Should I find other people to hang out with?

Yours,  

Unhappily Unemployed

Dear Unhappily Unemployed,

Just out of curiosity, were you wearing a business suit while typing this question? You B-School kids take life too seriously! So what if you didn’t get your dream job straight out of college? Now, you have the rest of your life to work toward something and genuinely be proud of the fact that you earned it.

I’m sure you’ll be able to find a great first job, considering the B-School’s amazing Career Center with a 100 percent placement record blah, blah, blah. Don’t overstress about placement and focus instead on your last few months as an Emory student, a great time to avoid adulthood! Try to gain as many free t-shirts, mugs and sunglasses from all the free events around campus; you won’t be getting much free stuff outside my turf. Go meet my dear friend Rick at Maggie’s and enjoy a night of drinking.

Be happy for your friends who obtained fancy jobs, but if it bothers you that much, try to redirect the conversation to other topics of your interest. Or be honest with your friends; I’m sure they’ll understand. Either way, I guarantee that in the near future, you’re going to be happily employed and laughing when you look back at this period of doubt. Who cares if you’re the last one of your friends to land a job? As they say, save the best for last.

Doolino

Dear Doolino,

With the advent of fall, my wardrobe and style have taken a serious hit. When I try to dress up in multiple fall colors, I inevitably end up looking like a rotten pumpkin. Please give me some advice on how to clothe myself and accessorize for the holiday season.

Yours,

Fashion Fart

Dear Fashion Fart,

While I personally don’t have much experience in the fashion department, I will tell you about my past lover — Doolina! She was the most beautiful skeleton upon which I have ever laid eyes! She had a great fashion sense that really made my sockets pop!

The fall leaves would rustle every time she walked by, the trees would shiver to shower her with hues of yellow and orange and, when she struck a pose, my dead heart would beat just a little…

I digress. I think what really worked for her was not sticking to the traditional fall colors. Don’t just go for the oranges and yellows; try some reds and browns! It is absolutely essential you own a pair of knee-high brown boots — they match everything and are trendy to boot. And if nothing else, there is alway my personal favorite — reliable black, which can make you look as slim as you did prior to encountering all those Thanksgiving servings of pumpkin pie and gravy. As for accessories, those tight strings around the neck that the young kids are wearing these days seem to be extremely stylish.

Doolino

For your day-to-day qualms and minor life crises, send anonymous questions to doolino.emory@gmail.com.

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