(Emory Wheel / Alison Barlow)
“The stock market is astrology for men.”
In recent years, Sherrod DeGrippo’s tweet, and others comparing astrology to the stock market have gone viral, claiming they have the same degree of accuracy. While the comparison may seem silly, with the stock market dominating the global economy and astrology dominating Tik Tok, the two strangely have several commonalities. Both exist as potential tools to increase personal wealth and lead a more fulfilling life. Despite these commonalities, astrology is a productive tool for improving life and igniting self-growth, whereas the stock market solely exists to elevate corporations and the top 1%.
For centuries, astrology has been an integral part of life and religion in many places. It has roots in Hinduism, yet some demean it as inaccurate, whimsical and silly. The stock market, on the other hand, is an elitist institution that has only been around for two hundred years and dominates a large portion of the narrative around the modern economy. The two exist at opposite ends; yet one can actually help you, while the other exists to rob you.
Who doesn’t want insight into their future? Astrology offers personal enlightenment into one’s true character. Your birth chart is a window into your highest self, devoid of the influences or burdens placed on you by others. Astrologers studying your birth chart can show substantive paths to your future self and reveal important pathways towards your friendships, career and romantic partnerships. They can also utilize birth charts as a place for clients to engage in introspection, so they can investigate important aspects of their lives like their financial or emotional states. Even celebrities employ astrologists, like Princess Diana (whose moon sign I share) regularly consulted astrologer Penny Thornton about her marriage to Prince Charles and royal life. Even Ronald Reagan consulted an astrologer about important White House decisions.
Uncovering your birth chart can provide numerous benefits. Astrology helps people become the best versions of themselves through careful listening and dedication to the stars. Some people even base major life decisions, like quitting their job or getting married, on the signs because they believe in the omnipotence of the universe. This isn’t to say astrology is an accurate science or practice; rather, it has the ability to open people up to self-reflection and new pathways to understanding themselves. At least if you base your decisions on the stars, you don’t have to blame yourself when things don’t work out.
When you go into a basic astrological website, such as Cafe Astrology, you simply input the day, time and place of birth and you can learn your birth chart. Often, these websites will break down your birth chart and offer insight. As a Gemini rising, my chart says, “Very quick-witted, somewhat nervous and restless personality.” When I first read this analysis, I reflected on what resonates and what doesn’t. Through examining all of your signs in different planets, you can reflect on what is meaningful and important to you; for me, I think about how I interact with my friends or how I leverage my strengths. Astrology allows you to look yourself in the mirror and confront your personality, for better or worse, even if you don’t take the leap to believe in it.
The stock market and Wall Street, on the other hand, don’t offer the same potential for self-introspection and growth to the everyday person. The stock market is controlled by the exorbitantly wealthy, with the top 1% of households owning over 50% of all stocks and the next 10% only acquiring 35.4%. The stock market is a vehicle for which the wealthy can play with the economy while blue-collar workers are affected by minute changes that they are not privy to command at their will. The stock market is not driven by data, but rather the emotions, whims and investments of the balding and feeble wealthy while workers suffer from the fluctuations and lack of security.
Even when everyday consumers try to participate in the market, they are blocked by brokerage companies, who impose restrictions. For instance, after the GameStop disaster, TD Ameritrade, a brokerage company, and other trading companies restricted the trading of several stocks such as AMC and GameStop, who were involved in the trading frenzy. These restrictions limited users’ ability to take control of the stock market as they did earlier in February.
Furthermore, when the stock market crashes, millions of people are affected. Investing in it is a risky game, and failure in the market can lead to catastrophic worldwide economic disasters, such as the 1929 stock market crash or the 2008 recession. The stars will always be there for you during global crises, but the stock market could care less.
Investing in astrology is free and can guide you to improve your life without risking your life savings. Invest in yourself and your future, not the tools of capitalism.
Rachel Broun (23C) is from Carrboro, North Carolina.
Rachel Broun (23C) is from Carrboro, North Carolina, majoring in anthropology and women's, gender and sexuality studies. She writes for the Editorial Board. Outside of the Wheel, Broun often finds herself doing crafts, working for Theater Emory and watching "The Real Housewives" series.
This is legitimately the worst thing you guys have ever put out congrats
Don’t be ashamed of who you are, thats your parents job.
are you a Capricorn/Virgo? feelin a lot of negative energy
taurus + aries cusp
if u take astrology seriously, i hope as you will take your time at emory and learn more through your liberal arts education about things such as confirmation bias and how not to fall for scams
Investing in the stock market is risky, but not investing is significantly more risky. The only people who lose all their money in the stock market are people who buy meme stocks like Gamestop and AMC.
I’m shocked the editors allowed this garbage to be published. This was painful to read and I’m deeply upset that I must share my institution’s brand name with this writer.
There are so factual discrepancies in this piece about finance that it borders fake news. Finance is an extremely complex field, and the author demonstrates she knows about it. The cultural relevance and age of astrology, voodoo, and witchcraft don’t make them valid. It largely falls in the realm of unfalsifiable claims. Its claims are neither true nor false. At best, they give people a false sense of importance.
Finance, on the other hand, aims to make predictions that work because there’s a price to pay for being wrong. Financial theory was understood by early thinkers like Thales of Miletus, but modern stock markets really kicked off during the Dutch Golden Age. The stock market did not begin existing, as the author points out, at the inception of the NYSE. And throwing money at the ticker that keeps trending on Reddit is what we in the industry call “gambling”.
Let’s be entirely clear here: The weak form of the Efficient Markets Hypothesis, and perhaps even the semi-strong form, seeks to hold true. Investing is about managing opportunity costs, balancing expected risks vs expected rewards, and decision making under uncertainty. Tik Tok investors and the like are what we call “fooled by randomness”; they are no better than astrologers themselves.
I’m shocked the author believes that she is “very quick-witted” like her horoscope says. This article obviously disputes that. This piece is highly in anti intellectual and betrays the values of The Wheel and Emory at large. The author should do herself a favor and ask The Wheel to remove this piece before she suffers reputational damage.
I’m disappointed we go to the same school. You say she’s “betrayed the values of the Wheel and Emory at large,” but calling someone “anti-intellectual” and their writing “garbage” is the antithesis of the values Emory holds. Emory, among other schools, value respect, openness and compassion. Your comment exhibited none of those traits.
Should we now have compassion, openness, respect, for intellectualism on the level of Qanon now. I guess if that fits you, go ahead, but this is silly.
It isn’t disrespectful to call out factual errors and fake news, and if you think it is, perhaps academia is not the place for you.
It’s garbage written by an anti-intellectual. You should be more ashamed the educational attainment bar for admits is this low.
There is no compassion about being dishonest.
Emory thanks them for the $200k at least.
You see, I knew that The Wheel was gonna put out a really terrible article this week because my Mercury was in Retroviruses and my Jupiter was Rising, according to the Ancient Greek astronomer Paredes.
This article could’ve definitely gone in a different direction.
lol didnt know the wheel posted onion news network articles too thanks for the rep
As a bread rising when Mercury is in retroviruses, my horoscope reads:
“Ding dong, this op-ed is wrong.”