studyabroad

I’m not studying abroad. And before everyone who has gone abroad, plans to go abroad or is abroad right now looks at me with pity and says, “Oh, but you really should consider studying abroad,” let me drop some truth on you: going abroad isn’t the right choice for everyone.

The truth hurts, I know. Especially for those of you who’ve gone abroad and had such a great time. You met new people. You sampled a new culture. The trip changed your life in some profound way. It sounds like I’m trying to make fun of you, but I’m not. From what I’ve heard, the cliches about going abroad are mostly true: you probably grew as a person when you were confronted with experiences outside of your comfort zone, and because you put a lot of thought into choosing your trip, your thought paid off.

But here’s that cold, hard truth again: for many students, just as much, if not more, thought goes into the decision not to go abroad as into the decision to go abroad.

There are a lot of factors to consider before going abroad. There’s cost, timing, programs offered, classes offered, country culture, actual desire to take classes in another country… the list goes on. But from most of the conversations I’ve had with students who’ve gone abroad, I’ve gotten the impression that they think only they and their abroad counterparts have seriously considered this list. They may also think that only those who have gone abroad really know about the process of deciding to go abroad. They researched their program, chose their program and attended their program. That’s the natural order. So, those who’ve chosen not to go abroad must not know anything about studying abroad, right?

Wrong. So, so wrong. It’s a common misconception that students who don’t study abroad choose not to because they don’t know enough or don’t care. It’s also a common misconception that these students enjoy hearing your personal testimony about “Where You Went” and “How Awesome It Was” and “Why You’d Recommend Studying Abroad To Every Student” in your efforts to sway our decision.

Here’s that cold, hard truth again: Your plea for us to consider studying abroad is falling on tired ears, tired because we’ve heard this plea too many times before. The detailed personal account of your trip that follows this plea is uninteresting. The underlying assumption that we’ve put no thought into this huge life decision is insulting.

I understand that most people guilty of this practice have good intentions. They had a great experience, and they want everyone to know it. They also want others to have as great of a time as they did. Their plea-testimony comes from a genuine, positive place. They believe in their cause in the same way a door-to-door missionary does. They have the same fervor, the same “I’ve Seen The Light And I Want You To See It Too” attitude. But sometimes it gets misconstrued and comes off as “I Know What’s Best For You Regardless Of Your Choice And Now Listen To My Lecture About Prague.” At least with a missionary, you’ve got the “I’ve already found God” excuse. You can shut the door quickly or choose not to open the door at all. But at Emory, when you hear those five words (“So, are you studying abroad?”), there’s no shutting the door. There’s no polite way to say “Please don’t spend the next 20 minutes trying to convince me to study abroad” or “I don’t want to hear your really long story about the time you thought you saw John Mayer near the Eiffel Tower but at the end of the story it turns out it wasn’t really him.” So we domestic bodies have no way to escape, and the cycle repeats.

I’m not trying to say that if you’ve studied abroad, you shouldn’t talk about it. And I’m not saying it’s inappropriate to encourage other Emory students to study abroad. Some students are still deciding whether or not to go abroad, and getting your advice might really help them. Some students haven’t even considered going abroad, and talking to you could be eye-opening for them. But if you’re talking to someone who’s already made up their mind, respect their decision. Before you launch into describing your life abroad, pick up on social cues: Does your listener seem interested? Are they asking questions about your trip? If not, SHUT IT DOWN. Continuing the conversation could come off as irritating and as bragging, even if you don’t mean it to be.

One of the biggest reasons talking excessively about your trip abroad can seem like bragging is that taking a semester abroad is extremely expensive. Not everyone can afford it. I’ll stop before you vaguely say, “You can use your financial aid! And there are scholarships!” because scholarships for studying abroad, particularly in more “traditional” areas like Europe, are extremely hard to come by and very competitive. These scholarships also don’t always cover cost of living or airfare or traveling while abroad, which is something that can make or break a decision to leave the country for a semester. So, please do not recommend scholarships if you know little to nothing about them.

Additionally, some students can afford to study abroad, and would just rather spend their money elsewhere. But it’s a social faux pas at Emory to admit that you need financial aid (I speak here with heavy sarcasm but also truth), so why would any student feel comfortable explaining to a friend or complete stranger that their reason for not going abroad is monetary?

Let’s not forget that some students simply do not want to study abroad, or don’t have time for it in their schedules. Some students are conducting research; some are extremely dedicated to an on-campus organization; some are taking a heavy course load to complete a newly acquired major. Yes, there are ways to work around these issues and still travel abroad, but many students decide that staying on campus is the best decision for them. Maybe they value an internship over a summer abroad program. Maybe they’d prefer to stay closer to their families for the year. These reasons can vary widely and should ultimately be respected.

Again, it comes back to being a conscientious speaker and listener. Feel free to share your abroad experience. You might have something cool or interesting to share. But if a look of dread or forced smile flashes across the face of your listener when the “So, are you studying abroad?” question comes, take a hint.

In the end, I decided not to study abroad. I don’t regret that choice one bit. But please, I implore you, stop treating me like I “just need to give studying abroad a chance.” I’d chosen a favorite program and talked to multiple advisors before I realized going abroad wasn’t the right decision for me. In the end, I chose my double major over a semester abroad. I also decided that hundreds of visits to Chipotle were worth more to me than a plane ticket to Dublin. It’s not the choice everyone would make, and that should be okay.

I’m extremely happy with my place at Emory, with or without studying abroad. I don’t think my decision to stay on campus all four years devalues my experiences here at all or makes me any less of a curious and driven student.

Most of all, it is my decision whether or not to study abroad, something that I feel should be taken into consideration in these types of conversations. Students who choose not to study abroad know their schedule better than anyone else. They know their financial situation better than anyone else. They know their desire to go abroad better than anyone else. You may have “Seen the Light” and come knocking to spread the “Joy of Study Abroad,” but each individual student knows what’s going on behind closed doors. So, stop the preaching. Studying abroad is a privilege, not a right. Not everyone gets to do it, and not everyone wants to.

–By Jenna Kingsley

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The Emory Wheel was founded in 1919 and is currently the only independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University. The Wheel publishes weekly on Wednesdays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions.

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