Need to use compromise as a metaphor in your essay? Don’t want to offend massive amounts of people? Well, the Wheel‘s top expert in compromise-ology has thoughtfully compiled a short list of good examples for you to use at your discretion.

The Great Compromise

During the 1787 Constitutional Convention, small states and big states compromised on how they would be represented in Congress. That’s why the House allocates representatives based on population, and the Senate provides equal representation to every state, or so Wikipedia tells me.

This is also called the Connecticut Compromise due to Connecticut feeling bad about its relative lack of importance in almost every other facet of national affairs. Seriously, what has Connecticut ever done for the rest of the country? At least Georgia provides some sort of shameful entertainment value (ex: “Haha, Georgia schools are involved in another cheating scandal! Oh, Georgia!”).

Going “Dutch”

I know that there’s a lot of cultural pressure for the man to pay when you’re on a date, but since women are allowed to, like, work and vote and own land now, it seems a bit outdated. That’s why the Dutch invented the concept of both people paying for their own stuff.

This is a classic example of financial compromise where you can both pay for your own meal, or if you’re going to a movie, one of you can buy the tickets and the other one can pay for the food.

Or if you like the feel of “treating” the other person, you can pay for everything on one date, and the other person picks up the tab next time.

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act

This is a great example of a compromise between fascism and communism. Kidding!

It’s compromise between Republicans and Democrats, which I guess is kind of the same thing. Basically, there were a few different bills proposed, and although many Democrats wanted to add a public option to the final version, everyone knew that it wouldn’t get bipartisan support.

So, a form that didn’t have that in there was passed, because compromise means having to give up some things for the greater good. The Dems backed down from the public option like little girls, and the Republicans allowed socialism to infiltrate our country.

And now health care is totally fixed forever and always. Thanks, Obama!

The Half-Sandwich and Soup Deal

Generally agreed to be the best compromise ever, the half-sandwich and soup or salad deal, found at many different bakeries, allows you to not have to decide between ordering the entire sandwich or getting a massive bowl of soup.

It’s not as expensive as buying both things separately, and it won’t be too much food. You can have it all!

The Boundary Thing in “Twilight”

So, the vampires and the werewolves totally don’t like each other because of historical or cultural differences or something (I think it’s like a Beatles vs. Rolling Stones sort of thing).

And so instead of demolishing each other in epic mystical-being battles, they make this clever agreement to draw a line in the forest and make sure the vampires stay on one side of it.

This paragon of problem-solving works wonders, except for the billion times when it doesn’t. Either way, it’s still a better, more “pragmatic” example of compromise than one involving, I don’t know, reducing an entire group of people’s humanity by an arbitrary fraction. At least by using the vampire example, you’re just offending your audience’s reading level.

– Contact Sonam Vashi at [email protected]