Ladies and gents, fear no longer; your On Fire correspondent has returned. As he (or she) once told you, loyal readers, “I am always with you.”

Back to Business

Your On Fire correspondent recently discovered a great marriage of sports and music. It is a YouTube video of all the Toronto Blue Jays’ 2015 homeruns (up to Aug. 26), synced to Johnny Cash’s version of “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.” That’s right, here is a beat in the song every time that a Blue Jays’ bat comes in contact with a ball — sick!

Happy Birthday, Kid


Today is the birthday of the late, great Ted Williams. The Kid had one of the greatest baseball minds in history – but, let us keep in mind, thinkin’ ain’t for everybody.

Your On Fire correspondent’s father was a diehard Mickey Mantle fan and frequented the Mick’s bar in New York. The Mick died in 1995, but before then, your On Fire correspondent’s father had the good fortune to have a drink with him at his bar.

The Mick was surrounded by old men, all of whom considered him to be their hero. He told a story of playing in an All-Star Game with Williams in the mid-50s.

The two sat together in the dugout and chatted baseball. Williams explained the most basic principles of his “hitting philosophy” to the Mick. It involved hot and cold zones, a slightly upward swing and, well, thinking.

The Mick said he didn’t get a hit for the next five games. “Casey [Stengel] would tell me, ‘Just hit a single. Knock the run in.’ But I couldn’t help myself. I always tried to hit a homerun once I got up there,” the Mick said in his thick Oklahoma accent.

As the oracle Yogi Berra once asked: “How can you think and hit at the same time?”

We could start an all-out war between Yankees fans and Red Sox fans over whether Mantle or Williams was better in his prime, but that isn’t what this is about. Hats off to one of the greatest to ever play the game — and one whom even Mickey Mantle respected the hell out of.

Getting Messi


Your On Fire correspondent came across this lovable pic of Lionel Messi photobombing Cristiano Ronaldo. Hilarious. And that brings us to FIFA. Thumbs up for making the sleaziest organization in the United States look good. Your On Fire correspondent is, of course, talking about the NCAA.

Ronda vs. Floyd


Rocky and Apollo Creed. UNC and Duke. Rocky and Apollo Creed in Rocky II. The Yankees and Red Sox. Rocky and Clubber Lang. Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus. Rocky and Ivan Drago. Wilt and Russell. Not any of the bad guys in any of those later Rocky movies nobody saw.

These are the greatest rivalries in sports. And Ronda Rousey and Floyd Mayweather are working into the ranks. People say Rousey would win in a fight. Your On Fire correspondent thinks Floyd would do his typical run around the ring and not fight routine, and probably win on points. Oh, and Rousey would probably throw books at him.

Either way, it’s something your On Fire correspondent would like to see, and you should want to as well.

McWhopper: Make America Great Again


For the International Day of Peace, Burger King wants to combine their great Whopper burger with the even better Big Mac from McDonald’s, according to the Associated Press. Mickie D’s declined the offer, which was published in full-page newspaper ads, to sell the hybrid sandwich at the central location of Atlanta (hey freshmen, you live in Atlanta now). CEO of McDonald’s, “Steve,” also told Burger King over Facebook: “P.S. A simple phone call will do next time.”

Your On Fire correspondent recognizes this as a brilliant, Donald Trump-esque guerrilla attack on Burger King’s more successful counterpart. Taking the ad out in newspapers, BK put McDonald’s in a position that would make the company look bad if they declined — as they did. Your On Fire correspondent isn’t aware of the reasons why McDonald’s had to decline, but he (or she) wants the McWhopper. Now. So, McDonald’s, you — unlike Donald Trump — have the ability to make America great again!

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The Emory Wheel was founded in 1919 and is currently the only independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University. The Wheel publishes weekly on Wednesdays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions.

The Wheel is financially and editorially independent from the University. All of its content is generated by the Wheel’s more than 100 student staff members and contributing writers, and its printing costs are covered by profits from self-generated advertising sales.