On Fire

After a long hiatus because of intense on-campus activities involvement, a heavy course load, study abroad, job recruitment, a suspension due to attacking NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell on Twitter and other excuses people use for falling out of touch with their freshmen  acquaintances, your On Fire correspondent is back and feeling rejuvenated. (Special thanks to Kobe’s doctor in Germany!)

Summers are awful for sports. After the NBA championship, only baseball is on ESPN, and that’s dreadful. At least the Olympics made Summer 2016 somewhat bearable. Yet, after a long summer, we’ve reached pre-season football and are on the verge of having a real sport to watch once again. If the sports season were spending the night out, we’re at the point where we are getting out of the Uber and walking into Mags. However, sometimes the best story of the night takes place in the Uber itself.

Summer ‘16 did just that. Below are the two stories from this summer that your On Fire correspondent would be talking about the morning after at Bagel Palace.

Ryan Lochte’s night out

Speaking of crazy rides during a night in town, Ryan Lochte wishes his was a little less eventful. Lochte felt the need to overcompensate for his inferiorities and start smashing things when he was clearly very intoxicated. By the way, if you haven’t heard, Lochte was the ringleader of a group of three U.S. swimmers who vandalized a gas station in Rio de Janeiro during the Olympics.

Let’s ignore the fact that Lochte lied on national television, made Brazil look really bad and then embarrassed Team USA by taking precious tape-delayed NBA primetime coverage away from deserving U.S. athletes to do a close read of the situation.

Your On Fire correspondent can rationalize questionable behavior outside of the Toco Hills Steak ‘n Shake, but once you graduate college, you lose a lot of sympathy.

Lochte’s public relations nightmare is also going to affect his wallet, with lost endorsements piling up like a freshman guy’s laundry, and this loss is estimated to be worth over one million dollars.

However, just as the Republicans continue to back Trump, ABC’s Dancing with the Stars will continue to keep Lochte on the cast as they keep digging themselves into a deeper and deeper hole.

Draymond Green is following in Kim Kardashian’s footsteps

Draymond Green has been having a rough couple of months. He was dealt a series of low blows, eventually leading to a suspension in Game 5 of the NBA Finals and got arrested in

Downtown East Lansing for an “open palm slap.”

So, what do you do when you’re down and need a PR boost? Why, just take a page straight out Kim Kardashian Marketing 101!

Draymond accidently sent out a picture of his package on his Snapchat story.

Yes, this was embarrassing, but it wasn’t all-bad for the all-NBA player. He got a huge uptick in followers on Snapchat, and it also created a lucrative opportunity for a post-NBA career.

Draymond, everything will work out.

In loving memory of Harambe