1. Fighting
It took us a while, but the NBA officially had something interesting happen. That is, the first fight of the season finally occurred.
Unlike some other sports, basketball does not have a strong tradition of fighting.
In football, every play is a battle in and of itself, and let’s not even get started on what occurs in the deep, dark depths of the pile during the struggle for a loose ball.
Fighting is such a common occurrence in hockey that the penalties for it are standardized – it is five minutes for an actual fight, but only two minutes for ‘roughing.’
Baseball may be a gentleman’s game, but those guys are willing to throw down when necessary. Benches clear, old third base coaches roll up their sleeves and it goes down.
But basketball? If one was to rank all the sports in order of how much fighting would be associated with them, it would fall second to last, right above golf. And it would be all the way at the bottom if it were not for The Player Formerly Known As Ron Artest, that is Metta World Peace.
From all of us here at On Fire, a formal thanks to Metta. He has generated so much content for us over the years that we would dedicate one of our awards to him, if we had won any.
Metta is that player who walks the fine line between thug and visionary, a tough balancing act (and one your On Fire correspondent could tell you, dear readers, all about).
When asked what he would name his hypothetical race horse, Metta responded without hesitation “Ghetto Fabulous.” He once requested a year off from the Detroit Pistons, his former team, in order to write, perform in, and produce a rap album. Last year, he was dunked on. In revenge, he elbowed the offending player in the head, sending him to the ground.
And, most famously, he was the star of what your On Fire correspondent likes to refer to as the “Throwdown in MoTown.” In the middle of a huge fight, Artest climbed into the stands to take out his anger on a fan. He was suspended for 70 games.
And this brings us to Wednesday, when Kris Humphries of the Brooklyn Nets delivered an exceptionally hard foul to Kevin Garnett of the Boston Celtics.
Rajon Rondo felt obligated to defend his teammate Garnett and delivered a firm shove to Humphries.
The players fell into the stands, bringing a number of fellow players with them. Both of the instigating parties were ejected.
Humphries is married to Kim Kardashian, but she is in the process of attempting to divorce him. So far, he has not been cooperative. No word on whether or not this fight is impacting the proceedings. We will keep our readers informed.
2. Bikinis
Along with all other male (or female) sports fans, your On Fire correspondent has been eagerly following the development of the Bikini Basketball Association. However, the process, which has so far been smooth sailing, just got a little rocky.
For those who have been living under a rock and thus have not heard, the BBA (and no, B-School people, this refers to Bikini Basketball Association, not Bachelors of Business Administration) will get underway in, at the exact moment of this typing, in 38 days, six hours, 58 minutes and 19 seconds.
Those who are interested in following along in real time can join your On Fire correspondent in keeping up with the countdown at bikinibasketball.com.
The league, as of now, includes seven teams made up of “sexy, athletic ladies from around the world” and with names ranging from the borderline risqué Hollywood Hotties to the cibarious (despite not being recognized by Word, Dictionary.com defines this word as “relating to food”) Atlanta Peaches.
Having an odd number of teams does not seem ideal, but the league recently lost their eighth team. The Chicago Fire franchise was disbanded amid “sexual misconduct allegations.”
Your On Fire correspondent can honestly say that he did not see this one coming. Sexual misconduct in the Bikini Basketball Association – who could have imagined it?
Nonetheless, we at On Fire are excited to see what the future holds for the BBA. There is no doubt that it is full of great promise.
Only one question remains – why did no one think of this sooner?
The Emory Wheel was founded in 1919 and is currently the only independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University. The Wheel publishes weekly on Wednesdays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions.
The Wheel is financially and editorially independent from the University. All of its content is generated by the Wheel’s more than 100 student staff members and contributing writers, and its printing costs are covered by profits from self-generated advertising sales.
