1. Risky Business in the A

What’s going on with the Falcons? One season after being a questionable pass interference non-call away from the Super Bowl, Matty Ice and company have limped to a 1-3 record.

Your On Fire correspondent is really hoping they pull it together soon because having a good hometown team takes away the pain from whatever is happening up in Philly right now, where Peyton Manning just scored another touchdown. Also, hearing “Who Dat” all the time gets really annoying.

Thankfully, they play the Jets this weekend.

2. Thanks, Obama

In light of the government shutdown, America has lost sight of what’s really important: college football games between service academies.

Until last night, the Air Force-Navy game this weekend had been cancelled. After receiving official approval from the secretary of defense, the game will thankfully be played.

It’s a relief to know that the government is spending its time during the shutdown resolving only the most important issues. Muricah.

3. But… You…

The NFL recently released a two-decade research campaign that denies any and all links between smashing your head into other people repeatedly and developing concussions.

This is essentially the NFL’s formalized way of sticking its fingers in its ears and going “I can’t heaaaaaaar you.”

4. Oh No

49ers’ safety Donte Whitner is legally changing his last name to “Hitner”. There are so many problems with this that we at On Fire don’t even know where to begin.

5. Not So Funny

The University of Alabama suspended all-SEC safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix indefinitely. Important: there is a person named Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.

6.  MLB Playoff Teams Ranked

1. Pirates

2. A’s

3. Braves

4. Rays

5. Dodgers

6. Tigers

7. Cardinals

8. Not the Red Sox

9. A Different Team

10. Reds and Indians (RIP)

11. Your Uncle’s IM Softball Team

12. Joe Maddon’s Glasses

13. The Pirates Again

14. Billy Beane

15. Brad Pitt in “Moneyball”

16. Cookie Monster

482. Red Sox