One glance at the title of Sophie Hannah’s latest book, “How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment — the Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life,” and I knew I had found the first book I would read in 2019. Despite the “don’t judge a book by its cover” trope, I lept at the opportunity to take this title and work on myself in true New Year’s fashion. In her book, Hannah argues that grudges are important to maintain and develop, and are even crucial to find inner peace. In this impossible-to-put-down guide, Hannah invokes anger, sadness and laughter with teachings she has developed over years of grudge-holding. To demonstrate the role of grudges in everyday life, she provides examples from her own experiences, the experiences of others and the guiding wisdom of therapists Helen Acton and Anne Grey.
The crux of the book’s argument is that our current understanding of grudges is inherently harmful. Hannah uses her experience writing crime novels along with expert testimony to show why the reader should act in a way that is more aligned to “The Grudge-fold Path,” a life full of healthy grudges, to become a more forgiving person. Hannah does an excellent job at challenging the readers’ understanding of grudges: I frequently found myself to be an accidental practitioner of some techniques, such as keeping my own personal grudge inventory for the people in my life, a phenomenon Hannah coins a “Grudge Cabinet.” Being able to label my pre-existing thought processes while simultaneously learning how to develop skills to improve my outlook of myself and others was a major takeaway, and strength, of the book.
The novel exhibits an informal writing style that feels relatable, conversational and refreshing. In fact, reading the book felt like talking to an old friend about how to build and maintain my own “Grudge Cabinet.” While the vocabulary is advanced, it didn’t have me scrambling to find my phone or the closest dictionary to look up every other word — the book’s jargon actually invited further discussion. Self-help books have not appealed to me before, but I found myself unable to put the book down, aside from moments where hard-hitting anecdotes prompted a break to put myself back together.
Hannah provides detailed information about the topic at hand, but the consistency of the delivery of the information varies. This inconsistency arises when Hannah uses lists. For example, she presents an approachable, condensed list to describe 29 different types of grudges. In the section about processing grudges, the listed instructions read so similarly to the narrative style of the other chapters that a list seems unnecessary. It was jarring coming to the next step in the instructions because I forgot it was a list, and had to readjust myself every time. Additionally, when Hannah transitions by alerting the audience of a subsequent section, it feels more like an advertisement for a sequel than a suitable ending for a chapter. The moments when Hannah steps back and applies her teachings to real-life situations, however, prove to be some of the most personable and enjoyable sections. She discusses grudges between notable pop stars, including Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, and describes how grudges pervade most forms of art and media. By illustrating how living life on the “Grudge-fold Path” is an accepted coping mechanism for those in the public eye, Hannah reminds the reader that her message is relatable to people from all walks of life, while also providing interesting contexts for her examples.
In “How to Hold a Grudge,” Hannah did an incredible job helping me better understand myself and will be a future reference to help me recognize, categorize and process the grudges I hold now and in the future. I believe others will have the same take away, as Hannah gives readers the opportunity and knowledge to form healthy grudges that will help them cope. It’s not only a valuable read during this season when people tend to reflect on themselves, but will be a sweet reminder throughout life itself when new grudges arise.
Grade: A
Joel Lerner (20Ox, 22C) is from Johns Creek, Georgia, majoring in environmental science. Outside of the Wheel, his interests include theater, music and books. If you want to strike up a (seemingly endless) conversation with him, just mention “Doctor Who” or TikTok. Contact Lerner at joel.robert.lerner@emory.edu.
