We all have embarrassing pictures of young versions of ourselves in humiliating Halloween costumes stored somewhere on our phones or in our family photo albums. All is fair in love and Halloween when we’re in elementary school, but now that we’re grown, there are no excuses for stale costume choices. Still, too-old trick-or-treaters and pesky party-goers all over the country somehow continue to dress up in the most tired, ugly and embarrassing outfits they can find on the sacred day of Halloween. Whether you desperately need some especially-spooky fashion advice or simply wish to feel better about your own costume ideas, we hope you enjoy our takes on the worst costume choices.
Ghostface
The amount of Ghostface costumes from the “Scream” franchise that I see every year is one thing, but what throws me off more is the people I usually see wearing them: children. Perhaps I assume too much, but I would think most kids have not seen this R-rated horror series, so the fact they choose to dress up as a character they are probably unfamiliar with is baffling.
Most likely, parents pick this costume for their kids because it can be found at most stores and is scary-looking. However, the same can be said for characters more children might be familiar with. Parents, this year encourage your children to dress up as a classic character they love, like Black Panther, Batman or Elsa instead of a fictional serial killer.
— Sam Bartlett, Contributing Writer
Zombies
I understand the appeal and obsession that people have with zombies. I was also once a young boy who would stay up late, devising a plan for the apocalypse and watching videos about the most necessary equipment for a zombie survival kit. However, I’m an adult now, and the only thing that keeps me up is my own existential dread. I blame media like “The Walking Dead” for making people think that all they need to do is throw their clothes in some dirt and put some blood on their faces to be ready for the night.
Zombie costumes are tacky, overdone and bring almost no flair to a costume party. Unless you’re dressing up as one of the fungal infected from “The Last of Us” (2013) or a blocky zombie from “Minecraft” (2011), then keep your ripped-up flannels and dirty jeans in the closet. So, if you’re considering dressing up as the undead, maybe send that idea back to the grave.
— Eythen Anthony, Arts and Entertainment Editor
Lifeguards
This Halloween, I better not see anyone walking the streets of Druid Hills dressed as a lifeguard. My eyes cannot handle seeing the red shorts that spell out “LIFEGUARD” on the back — you know the ones I’m talking about. It’s 2022, and you have (hopefully) evolved past your 2012 Tumblr phase. I would understand being a lifeguard if we were in California or Florida, but there’s no point when Atlanta’s nearest beach is four hours away. Who are you (figuratively) saving? Finally, the obnoxious whistles are just icing on the cake. If you want to stick with the beachy theme but don’t want to be basic, dress up as the Coast Guard.
— Gracie Evans, Contributing Writer
Jainee Shah / Contributing Illustrator
Prisoner/Cop
Please spare me from the countless annoying couples wearing the basic orange jumpsuits and the phony-looking cop costumes this Halloween. You might think it’s cute, but no one wants to see you put each other in handcuffs or the oversexualized Instagram photos captioned “most wanted” or “guilty as charged!” The jailbird and cop combo is overdone and ignorant of real social issues surrounding the police. In the 21st century and especially at Emory, I’d think students would be more politically aware. Not to mention, wearing a police officer costume within the vicinity of college students or party-goers … won’t make you very popular. Ditch the plastic handcuffs and fake tattoos and get more creative this year.
— Fiona Ferguson, Contributing Writer
Morph suits
Men, for the love of god, please stop allowing yourselves to be seen in public wearing a morph suit. Yes, even on Halloween night. Especially on Halloween night. This costume has been around as long as Spirit Halloween has been setting up pop-ups in abandoned Toys “R” Us stores. Despite its stubborn attempts to stay relevant, it’s time for this genre of costume to see its bitter, satisfying end. Every time I see a morph suit, I see gross, smeared stains in undesirable places and a faded, sad version of what was once a vibrant color. Morph suit wearers, it’s time to take this five-year-old fad straight from your closets to the trash can and embrace some more inspired creativity with your costume design. You might think you’re serving laid-back and lively with this tragic trend, but what you’re really giving is Teletubby chic at best and glorified pig slop at worst.
-Nathan Rubin, Contributing Writer
‘Harry Potter’ characters
I see it every year: the robes, wand and maybe a Hogwarts house tie. While I understand the appeal (childhood nostalgia, bookish aesthetic and easy assembly), this is a tired choice. The book-reading community needs more varied representation at Halloween. If you are truly set on being a character from the wizarding world this fall, prove your devotion by at least picking a costume that screams proud nerd. Rise up Whomping Willows, Sorting Hats and Dobbys. In my humble opinion, that tells me a lot more about your personality than what Hogwarts house you got on Pottermore at age 12. It’s OK, we all know you retook that quiz until you got the answer you wanted anyway.
— Shaylee Artus, Contributing Writer
Samuel Bartlett (26C, he/him) is from Durham, North Carolina whose major is undecided. Outside of the Wheel, Bartlett is involved with the Emory Climate Reality Project as an executive, helping plan events to raise awareness about climate change. He loves watching UNC basketball and exploring Atlanta.
