My roommate and I live off campus. While I live a plane ride away from my family, my roommate’s home and family are only two hours away. Her mom comes to visit a lot, which I’m fine with, but I recently found out that she gave her mom a key to our apartment!
She said it makes sense because her mom visits a lot and might arrive when she isn’t home, or in case of an emergency. Am I wrong to think that this is weird and that she should have asked me first?
Scared of Mom-Intruder
Dear Scared of Mom-Intruder,
Your roommate definitely should have asked you first. Your apartment is a joint space, so big decisions regarding that shared space – including who to give spare keys to – need to be made together.
It seems like even if your roommate had asked you in advance, you still wouldn’t have been too thrilled with the idea of giving her mom a key. While your roommate seems to have valid reasons, you also are entitled to a certain degree of privacy and ownership over your apartment.
For that reason, I think the mom should keep the key, but you should set down some ground rules with your roommate for when her mother comes to visit. Ask your roommate to give you advanced notice, as well as the right to assert when her mother cannot stay if it’s finals week or something similar.
You should also ask that her mother does not use her key to enter your apartment without one of you there, except in case of emergency. I think it’s a reasonable request.
Emory’s wifi keeps automatically signing me in to EmoryGuest instead of EmoryUnplugged. I AM NOT ABOUT THAT EMORYGUEST LIFE.
Guest in my own home
Dear Guest in your own home,
Have you tried turning it off and on?
I have a position in an organization that I’d like to quit – the position takes up too much time, and I feel like I can’t devote the necessary time to do it justice. The position also hasn’t lived up to my expectations in terms of day-to-day responsibilities. I’ve expressed to the person above me that I’d like to quit. After that, we had one conversation about it but it hasn’t really come up again. What should I do?
Too Legit 2 Quit (but not really)
Dear Too Legit 2 Quit,
There’s a profound difference between expressing a desire to quit and actually quitting.
As a manager, what would you think if one of your employees came to you and said he wanted to quit? I’d interpret that as expressing his/her dissatisfaction with the status quo but also a desire to change it. It conveys that you want to try to change the situation so as to prevent you from quitting.
Expressing your intention to quit, however, is a different ballgame entirely. You can submit your two weeks notice and be on your merry way. It sounds like you fall into the “actually quitting” category. So, here’s some advice on quitting: be polite and respectful. Thank your supervisor for the opportunity to have worked with him/her. Be generous with your time if the organization asks you to train a replacement. It’s the least you can do.
It’s also important to mention that the phrase “no one likes a quitter” is essentially universally true. You don’t want to make quitting a habit. Learn from your mistakes. Next time, find out before committing what kind of time requirement is both required and realistic (which are often two different numbers).
Make a list of all your other commitments and see if there’s actually enough room to add this to your calendar without sacrificing your sanity. Try asking if you can talk to the person who previously held your position to find out what the day-to-day responsibilities are. Often, that cool-sounding title or job description has some pretty less-than-fun job responsibilities.
P.S.: MC Hammer, is that you? Never quit being you.