I met my best friend in an elevator. I was frantically pressing the button to close the door when Stephanie Lee (28C) and her sister walked in, ruining my attempt at a solo elevator ride. My eyes were basically swollen shut from crying, and the last thing I wanted was for another person to see me. It was the end of move-in weekend, and my parents had just dropped me off in my Harris Hall dorm room. Clearly, I was not faring well. I was mortified about being caught crying before I realized that the sniffling sound was not just coming from me: Steph and her sister were crying, too. For a moment, there was a sense of solidarity between us. Suddenly, the elevator abruptly stopped on the second floor instead of the third floor, and the ride became significantly more awkward as an unsuspecting man joined the enclosed space filled with three crying girls. I thought that would be my last time crying in front of Steph. In reality, there would be many more tears shed and thankfully, also laughter shared together.
Before coming to Emory University, I had low expectations for finding my people. I found my people in seventh grade, and they were over 772 miles away from Georgia, back home in Pennsylvania. I was convinced no one would live up to my hometown best friends. It turns out, Steph does, even though she is nothing like the people I have known before. Somehow, I have found myself spending more and more time with her, learning weird facts about Portland, Ore., and going to her swim meets. Reflecting on it now, it feels like fate that we ever became friends. When we met, we did not share a single class together, our schedules never aligned and we came from opposite sides of the country. I like to think our elevator incident drew us together. Plus, happen to live across from each other.
I was shocked by how Steph and I managed to get along despite our different upbringings. Before meeting Steph, I was almost nervous to converse with people so unlike me. Where I am from, it is normal to be the only person of color in a high school class. Where Steph is from, it is normal for half the class to identify as people of color. In my town, people watch high school football games every Friday and stop at Wawa for a hoagie. In Steph’s, people grocery shop at Safeway and eat at Din Tai Fung. Talking about our differences is one of my favorite things to do with Steph, and inadvertently, she has encouraged me to seek out things that make me uncomfortable and people who challenge my beliefs.
I consider Steph to be my happy accident. She is only one person, but she has opened me up to so many random facts, new people and beliefs about life. Before meeting her, I had never even thought about Oregon. Now, I get excited just hearing that other people are from Portland, so I can mention it to her later. She has taught me little things, like how potato wedges are called jojos in her town, but she has also shown me how to be more compassionate, understanding and genuine. We used to go on what we called contemplative walks, on which I forced us to have the deepest conversations we could. Half the time we did not even walk — but sitting on the University Quadrangle at midnight, curled in my chair, I found someone who made me feel like the most awkward parts of myself were normal. Somehow, every thought that I have considered insignificant was important to someone, and my mistakes were less shameful. I have found the brightest, best version of myself through her friendship.
Steph has also inspired me to seek countless new opportunities. Since move-in weekend, I have found a creative community through The Emory Wheel, from which I have learned to love casual writing again. I have built relationships with the best sisters through my sorority, and I have come to love debating new topics with people different from me. While Steph never told me to do these things, having someone who makes me so comfortable has helped me be okay with adapting to places where I was once uncomfortable. Steph was my first real friend at Emory, but she has encouraged me to connect with so many other people. I have become a collection of all the places and people I know, and I am lucky to say Steph is one of the best parts of that collection.
Contact Chloe Nam at chloe.nam@emory.edu.
