Gray Gao (26C) walks into ESC Kaldi’s Coffee for our interview wearing a green vest, a white collared shirt and a black BABY-G Casio watch that matches their preppy style. As we converse about high school hobbies, Gao shared the important role golf played in their life.
“The biggest struggle that I went through was telling my father that I wasn’t going to do [golf] professionally,” Gao said.
Training to be a professional golfer since the age of eight, Gao practiced at the course every day after school. To Gao, the early years of their golfing career were simply “five hours of hanging out with your friends.”
However, at the first competition, Gao lost and their feelings towards golf quickly turned negative. Gao’s teachers, relatives and coaches always told Gao that they would do amazing things. As someone who had grown up with high expectations from everyone, including themself, Gao said that the weight of failure was heavy.
“In order to maintain the expectations that have been given to me … I can’t afford to lose a single match,” Gao remarked.
The pressure was a lot for Gao, who said they were unsure if they could rise up to everyone’s expectations. As the pressure increased, their passion for the sport diminished.
“I hated the pressure that came with every competition,” Gao said. “I’d be expected to get first place. If I got second place, I would be upset at myself.”
They grew tired of the daily practices, drives to competitions and the expectations of achieving first place.
Finally, Gao said they asked themself, “Was living up to my family’s expectations more important than my own happiness?” Although the fear of disappointment made it difficult for Gao to tell their family, they decided to prioritize their own well-being. While their family was disappointed at first, they slowly began to support Gao in their endeavors. They encouraged Gao to pursue the true interests that they had and explore new passions. Looking back, Gao reflected that they will never be perfect at anything.
“I should always be on the pursuit of self-actualization of the things that are most important to me, not try to be the jack-of-all-trades,” Gao said.
After dealing with many failures throughout their high school career and golf, Gao realized that they needed to learn how to enjoy learning.
“I’m getting over it,” Gao said. “I realize that as I grow up, I’ll never be perfect at everything. That’s just impossible.”
Gao said they have applied what they have learned about failure and the value of learning throughout their college career, as they have immersed themselves in many new experiences such as the Goizueta Investment Management Group and the International Student Leadership and Advocacy Board. In their pursuit of an economics and film and media management double major, Gao said they truly believe in exploring passion and finding value in “the process.”
Gao works in podcasting at the Wheel. Their name came up through the random generator process and they were not involved in the writing or editing of this piece.
