Nosebleeds: Preview For the NBA Playoffs

The Wheel's newest senior staff writers (yeah, we don’t know what the world is coming to, either) are giving the people what they want: Brackets. No, not the traditional March Madness bracket, the NBA Playoffs bracket.

East Round 1:

(1) Atlanta Hawks vs. (8) Brooklyn Nets/Indiana Pacers

Nathan Janick: Yeah, we are not going to waste our time or yours.

Atlanta wins in 5 games

(4) Toronto Raptors vs. (5) Washington Wizards

Jacob Durst: Does anyone actually care about this match-up anymore? Three months ago, I would have been really excited. But now, it’s a solid “eh.” I wish the Raptors' Kyle Lowry scores 50 points per game in this series, but I would still pick Washington.

Washington wins in 7 games.

(2) Cleveland Cavaliers vs. (7) Boston Celtics

NJ: There are two things that the Celtics have going for them: 1) Brad Stevens is a much better coach then David Blatt. 2) Bill Simmons is the biggest homer in American journalism; he only roots for his home team. Yes, he is a bigger homer than Jacob Durst.

Cleveland wins in 5 games

(3) Chicago Bulls vs. (6) Milwaukee Bucks

JD: What’s that team that you know is going to make the leap next year after they lose in a really competitive series in the first round? Your 2014-15 Milwaukee Bucks.

Chicago wins in 6 games.

Western Conference First Round: 

(1) Golden State Warriors vs. (8) New Orleans Pelicans

NJ: Curry is likely going to be the season’s MVP (sorry Durst), however, behind the 2015-16 MVP, the Pelicans will throw up a heroic game on the back of a buzzerbeater turnaround 24 footer from Anthony Davis over Andrew Bogut to win by one.

Golden State wins in 5 games.

(4) Portland Trail Blazers vs. (5) Memphis Grizzlies

NJ: Durst and I have a better shot at having a basketball game televised on ESPN or TNT during the first round.

Tune into NBA TV for this pick and every second of the series.

(2) Houston Rockets vs. (7) Dallas Mavericks

JD: This will be the best series in the first round this year. These teams hate each other, but one of them has James Harden.

Houston win in 6 games. 

(3) LA Clippers vs. (6) San Antonio Spurs

JD: This will also be a great series, but it’s going to come down to the classic young players versus old players battle. I’ve given up on betting against the Spurs, as no one ever wins that bet.

San Antonio wins in 6 games.

This picture sums it up perfectly.

Eastern Conference Second Round:

(1) Atlanta Hawks vs. (5) Washington Wizards

NJ: Atlanta is jumping for joy that they don’t have to play the Bulls in the second round. Washington poses no real upset threat to the Hawks. The real question is will they sellout Phillips Arena for this series?

JD: No, no they will not.

Hawks in 5, Phillips Arena doesn’t open the 400-section until the next round.

(2) Cleveland Cavaliers vs. (3) Chicago Bulls

JD: This series is going to be great. There are so many storylines. Over-under on J.R. Smith’s three-point attempts is 50 for the series. He won’t make more than 15. Does LeBron wear his headband or not? Does D-Rose finally go 2011 MVP-level D-Rose? Does Nikola Mirotić out-duel Kevin Love (sneakily a good match-up)?

NJ: Get excited for this series. Well, until Derrick Rose injures his knee for not the first, second, not third, forth, fifth and sixth time, then you can lose your excitement.

Cleveland wins in 6 games.

(Due to disagreements about the West, we decided to finish the East first)

(1) Atlanta Hawks vs. (2) Cleveland Cavaliers

JD: This comes with a huge caveat, but the Hawks are the better team. If they are healthy, even if the Cavs have angry, headband-less LeBron, Kyrie “40 points, 0 Assists” Irving or Kevin Love, Korver is still better than the Cavs. Like a white Steph Curry who can’t handle, drive or run an offense. I once saw him hit approximately 389 3-pointers in a row while warming up. He said it’s his fifth longest streak before 8 p.m.

NJ: Not only does Atlanta have a much easier path to this round, but I also believe they are the better team. When I saw these two teams play in person earlier this year, Atlanta handled LeBron very well. This could lead to Kyrie thinking, “let me win this series for my team leading to the Cavs offensive efficiency declining as fast as their odds of making it to the finals.”

Atlanta wins in 6 games

(1) Golden State Warriors vs. (5) Memphis Grizzlies 

JD: Memphis and Golden State are on two different sides of the spectrum. One is a post-heavy team that prefers slow games, and the other has a fast-paced, spread-the-floor attack. This is probably one of the scariest match-ups that Golden State could see. Memphis will slow the game, destroy, and I mean destroy, the Warriors in the post, and use Mike Conley, Tony Allen, and Jeff Green to slow down Klay Thompson and Curry. Ultimately, Golden State is just too good at home, and too good overall, so I see them taking the series.

NJ: Lets be real. Golden State is praying that Memphis loses to the injury-riddled Blazers in round one. Memphis plays exactly how the Warriors don’t like to play. Ultimately, the Warriors have too much firepower on offense, but this series will be way closer than people think.

Golden State wins in 7.

(2) Houston Rockets vs (3) San Antonio Spurs

NJ: This is will be our first disagreement. Granted something like this doesn’t happen (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mejFtEY5faU) in round one, this will be the first playoff matchup between two legitimate title contenders. But guess what, San Antonio will win this series. The Spurs just beat the Rockets in a home and an away series that mattered greatly for both teams. This trend will continue, and guess what Dursty? The Spurs will do to the Rockets what they would have done to your squad if this hadn’t happened last year (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mejFtEY5faU). Harden won’t be quite as effective with Kawhi Leonard on him. Get ready for this Dursty. Hold on to your Bud Light …

(Durst was next seen chugging at least one Bud Light 40 and later reports note crying at Maggie’s)

Janick: San Antonio in five.

JD: We may or may not have bet on this series already (if gambling was “legal”). This is a close series and Janick called it right. It’s the first between two real title contenders. The Rockets have been the better team throughout the season series between these two teams over the past two seasons. They went 5-3, with two of those losses happening with Dwight Howard on the bench. This is going to be a really, really good series. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich (Pop) is by far the better coach, but not by as much as you would think. Kevin McHale has gone from ok to good or even great this year. That being said, in close series, you have to take the team with the best player, who may or may not have a beard. If this series makes it back to Houston for game seven, the Rockets win. Bring on the Warriors.

Durst: Huston in seven.

Western Conference Finals

(1) Golden State Warriors vs. (2) Houston Rockets/(6) San Antonio Spurs

JD: Golden State has been a great team this year, and they’ve killed the Rockets all season. The one thing that’s changed? I’ll give you a hint, he’s 6-10 and wears number 12. Dwight is going to be the x-factor in this series. If he plays like he did against Portland last year, a la 90 percent of Orlando Dwight, then this series is going to be phenomenal. If he doesn’t, then it could be over really quickly. Sadly, I think this is as far as my beloved Rockets go.

Golden State in six games.

NJ: This is the series that everybody has been waiting for. These are two teams that play gorgeous offensive basketball, and are both elite defensive teams. There would be more assists in one game of this series than the Rockets have had all year. I am personally guaranteeing that it is one of these two teams that will represent the Western Conference Finals, but in a bracket you can only pick one. Cue the inspirational music; the Spurs are making it to the finals.

Spurs win in seven games.

(1) Atlanta Hawks vs. (1) Golden State Warriors /(6) San Antonio Spurs

JD: While I would love to see the master and the apprentice face off in the finals (Pop and Budenholzer … think of all the Star Wars references here), I don’t think it will happen. But this series is going to be great nonetheless. These two teams are essentially different versions of each other. The Hawks rely on their team as whole, but wouldn’t function without Kyle Korver’s spacing, and the Warriors rely on Thompson and Curry to set everything up. I really hope this series happens, as it’ll be the best finals since last year. But nothing beats last year.

Hawks win in seven games.

NJ: Whoa. I like where you are going with this, but no, this isn’t going to happen. In what will be remembered as the greatest end of an era in sports, the Spurs will win the title against the Hawks and Pop, Manu and Duncan will all retire together. The story lines are perfect. The Spurs, whose innovative techniques have revolutionized the league, will go out after beating the team that has tried to imitate them the most. Pop, Manu and Duncan all going out together after winning back-to-back titles far surpasses John Elway’s historic end to his own career. This is too perfect; it has to happen. Screw filling out this bracket in pen. It’s down in sharpie. Gold sharpie, the color of the Larry O’Brien trophy.

Spurs win the title

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