Valentine's Day in College: A Personal Reflection

​I’m going to say it — I’ll be one of those people this Saturday who’s going to Mardi Gras because she’s single and wants to have a good time. I won’t be ruminating on lost boys, past hook-ups, embarrassing confessions, drunk calls, texts, breakups, exes or anything related to “love.”

When I think about Valentine’s Day, I think about Snowpocalypse 2014. I think about wine and chocolates (and doughnuts) and I think about snuggling with my best friends at sleepovers. I think about “Fifty Shades of Grey” — okay, what I really think about is James Dornan and his sexy accent.

Now, at the expense of sounding really corny, I’ll give you my opinion on how I think love works on Valentine’s Day.

Loving, or even liking someone in college can be hard. If you’re already in a committed relationship — one that’s working out, anyway — you might be looking forward to it with hopes and expectations.

You will want to feel happier, prettier, smarter that day, even if your partner likes you just the way you are. You will want to know that you have someone to lean on if things get hard, and you’ll be all the more joyous for realizing that you have a significant other who can make you feel those things and make you laugh.

You’ll spend effort for the person who knows you, the real you. And if you’re the kind of guy or girl who’s lazy, you’ll just spend some quality time together, alone, talking, but you’ll probably, realistically speaking, engage in physical intimacy.

If you’re in a casual relationship, you’ll be testing the waters. You might do something special at night, or your hopes might get crushed, and you might end up drinking wine and watching Netflix. If you’ve only just started seeing someone, you’re going to want to focus on finding out what “it” really means. If, “it’s been a while,” you’ll try and fill that hole (sorry) with meaningless sex, and that’s okay. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, but props to you for always trying and always having fun. It honestly doesn’t matter what others think. In the words of one of my most favorite authors: “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.”

If you’re simply the kind of person who doesn’t have time for this right now, I hope you get that A on your midterm, or that job that you’ve coveted for a while, or that network that you’ve wanted to create. If that makes you happier, makes you feel more accomplished (and it should) then you do you.

I’m no dating expert; I shy away from those situations in college. But if you’re a veteran, if you’ve had drinks spilled on you, got stood up, met a person who made you want to reconsider your opinions on the death penalty, sat awkwardly for hours, had someone grope you on your first date — you will end up realizing that in the end, you have to take it easy, and you have to enjoy youth.

These days aren’t going to come back, and even though you want to find that “special someone,” you’ll realize that you have to love yourself the most — that’s what I tell myself, anyway.

- By Shalvi Shah, Asst. Copy Chief

---