Social Justice Week 2013 began on Friday with a panel discussion focusing on recognizing bullies' humanity and showing compassion for them. College Council (CC) is sponsoring the week-long program to raise awareness about discrimination against minority groups on campus.
The event, which took place in White Hall, featured panel members including motivational speaker Sarah Vitorino ('11PhD), who led the discussion; Michelle Lane Valigursky, the author of the young adult novel Lili; and Sierra Dowd, co-founder of the anti-bullying organization "Be More Heroic."
Vitorino began the discussion by acknowledging that people often think of bullies as inherently violent but neglect to consider that they may have been victimized themselves. She asked the panel how to find compassion for bullies and said that in order to foster positive social behavior, it is necessary to work with perpetrators of violence.
Vitorino added that she thought the best way to create an environment without bullying improve their self-confidence.
"The more people feel empowered and good about themselves, the less likely they'll feel like they need to make others feel inferior," she said.
Valigursky agreed, adding that she felt the best way to empower children is to teach them to have a strong sense of self and appreciate their own strengths. She said she personally tries to do so through writing.
"I have a really strong need to connect with young people and explore through writing, talking and journaling the biggest questions that can be so difficult," she said.
The panel then discussed the responsibility of the bystander, someone who witnesses bullying. Dowd said she refers to the bystander as an "upstander" in order to hold them more accountable.
She added that she encourages the "upstander" to have compassion for not only the victim but the bully as well.
She added that bullying will only continue unless individuals seek to understand what factors encourage bullying in the first place.
After asking the panel to discuss how to promote healing in the lives of victims, Vitorino redefined such victims as "survivors," which she said is a more empowering term.
Dowd then noted that she encourages survivors of bullying to try to turn the experience into a learning opportunity.
She added that while survivors should not let bullying define them, they also should not ignore what has happened to them. Survivors should find a person they trust to confide in about their issues, she said.
Valigursky suggested that survivors allow some time to feel bad about what happened but then step outside of their comfort zone and find a new skill, interest or friend.
Additionally, Valigursky said she suggests journaling about the survivor is good at or wants to accomplish.
Dowd and Vitorino further explained to the audience the ways and reasons that they personally became involved with their work.
Dowd said she wanted financial stability when she graduated from college – which, she said, she did not have growing up. However, she also had to figure out how to balance financial stability with her own personal fulfillment.
After asking herself what she would do with her life if money did not matter, Dowd knew she wanted to devote her time to "Be More Heroic," she said. She added that she has never felt more fulfilled since making this decision.
Vitorino, who conducts research in prisons, said she has met many people through her work who have helped her learn to recognize the humanity in others.
Additionally, she encouraged people to find forgiveness and hope for others and themselves.
"Shame and regret are useless," she said. "You should be proud of who are and embrace your mistakes and fold them into your identity."
– By Elizabeth Howell
