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Saturday, Nov. 30, 2024
The Emory Wheel

Upton Controversy Suggests Decline



Mid-February is an awkward time to be a sports fan. The NBA, NHL and college basketball regular seasons are completely meaningless and boring.

On the football front, college National Signing Day is in the rearview, and the NFL combine is a ways away.

Luckily for male sports fans, Sports Illustrated (SI) came out with its annual swimsuit issue this week. The magazine's predominantly male reader base has helped SI's swimsuit issue become iconic, selling more than one million physical copies each year.

Nowadays, the magazine is all about Kate Upton. Upton skyrocketed to national fame after a video of her "dougie-ing" hit the Internet. She eventually parleyed this into last year's SI swimsuit cover, and from there, she hasn't looked back. Upton has popped up on countless magazine covers, viral videos and commercials in the last year. Most famously, she performed the "cat daddy" in a bikini for famed celebrity photographer Terry Richardson.

This epic year of photos led to an even more epic photo shoot and SI cover shot that is now available to the general public.

Upton is only the fourth model to grace SI's swimsuit cover twice. This year feels different though. We now are starting to get the funny, awkward back-stories that we never used to get with Upton.

First there is the shoot location. This year, SI decided they wanted to shoot in all seven continents. Upton was given sub-zero Antarctica.

Clad in just a bikini, Upton, bless her heart, braved the cold to provide the people what they wanted.

It should have ended there. She's showing just enough of her breasts that no sane human being would notice the background. That is where the discussion should stop. Upton has instead launched a campaign to unseat Joan of Arc to become history's hottest martyr (I actually have no idea if Joan of Arc was hot; it depends on the painting. But that is beside the point).

In an interview with Matt Lauer, Upton recounted, "When I came back, I was losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down, it was working so hard to keep warm."

Despite the fact that this does not make sense medically, she has continued to complain to the world about how tough the shoot was on her body.

Maybe we would have all thought this was adorable a year ago, but these quotes have not been well received by the general public.

Women everywhere are complaining about the implication that Upton, who is paid to stand in front of a camera and do nothing, has it tough.

On top of this, media outlets have looked at the pictures and called Upton's body a wide range of words all of which mean fat.

The level of criticism the young model is receiving is unheard of considering the pristine, indestructible image she has had for the last year and a half.

This newfound hate is an indication that Upton is slowly, but surely reaching that peak of her career, which she will never be able to reach again.

We have all seen it before. When we were in elementary school, the pristine, untouchable girl who defined hotness was Britney Spears. In middle school, it was Jessica Alba, and in high school, it was Megan Fox.

Now it's Upton.

They are all perfect until they we have seen too much of them.

The longer they are famous, the more they have to talk. The more pictures they have to take.

Upton's image may be finally starting to show signs of wear. It may seem crazy now, but come next year, she may have worn her welcome.

By Nathaniel Ludewig