I'm always amazed when I find symbolism in concepts or ideas that you probably would never think could correlate. But usually if you're "passionate" about the subject and somewhat knowledgeable of it, then you can apply concepts that you learn in class to gain wisdom in everyday life situations.
I found myself in a perplexing situation this past week. During the office hours of one of my economic professors, I found myself consulting with him about the situation. My situation dealt with failure due to a lack of communication. This situation may be something we're all familiar with. Personally, failure has never been something I feel comfortable with acknowledging. However, as I grow older, I begin to understand what failure actually means and how to grow from it.
What I gained from my conversation with my professor was very profound and very true. He described the interaction of human relationships as economic transactions. By economic transitions, he meant the ones that take place at the bank. He said that people unconsciously take mental notes of the good that you do, and when you do good for someone then it's like depositing money in your bank account. So over time, as you develop a deeper relationship, you're essentially acquiring more money in this metaphorical bank, and when you need a favor or anything of that sort, then you have the ability to make a withdrawal, big or small, and it will be ok and potentially reciprocated. He went on further to say that if you put in more deposits than the other person that you shouldn't ever continue to do that because at that point the relationship is imbalanced. He pointed out the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relations adding credibility and profundity to the metaphor. Unrequited relationships end in turmoil and can cause emotional damage for both parties. With that philosophy in mind, one can save so much time and mental energy knowing that. Sometimes I find myself in situations where I wonder how I got into it.
More specifically, in an interpersonal context, how did I determine that this person was my friend? Now I figure I had these types of relationship complications because I had never thought about relationships in a different way. And, even though the building of relationships or trust is compared to money in the aspect of my economic professor's analogy, it still has so much sentimental significance and understanding behind it, especially because we all understand, to some extent, the value of money. To be able to realize and always remember that relationships effectively process this way really helps me.
That being said, it is necessary to be as consistent as you can with interpersonal relationships. This can be applied to friends, family and even love. I've seen so many people do good deeds for others without expecting anything in return and it is always something that I take note of, whether it's helping to take care of a friend's fish while they are away, helping a friend get over relationship problems or even helping a friend recover and stumble home safely after a crazy night. Expecting things to be so instantaneous and "tit for tat" leads to relationships that end abruptly and/or disastrously. You may begin to question people's intentions and motives as to why they do certain things or why they act the way they do, and thinking that way all of the time is not healthy. But, if you remember that you should never do anything that you don't feel comfortable doing and that you were genuine in your approach to the situation or person then you have nothing to lose but people that don't actually deserve to be in your life. A part of growing older is realizing that certain things do and will fall apart, but if that happens it is important to keep in mind that something better will come, whether it's a second chance to do better at what went wrong, or an altogether new unimaginable experience. Simply put, no one is perfect, but you must also remember to believe people for who they are when they first show you.
There is this song by Kaskade called "Be Still" that really relates. In the song she sings, "If love's so serious, the more we think, the less we know, but if love's so mysterious, holding tight, when we should let go." Sometimes I can get so caught up in being certain about things that I lose sight of the big picture and end up overanalyzing a situation. I end up with an output of actions that I had no desire of committing to in the first place. Those actions are what we call regrets. Human relationships are not black and white and there are things that you can never be so certain about. So, I hope to move forward in life knowing that other people's expectations of me will only be reflective of the expectations that I set for myself.
Shemlah Naphish is a College sophomore from Fayetteville, N.C.
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