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Sunday, Dec. 1, 2024
The Emory Wheel

Presidential Elections for Dummies

Feeling a bit out of the loop regarding the recent Presidential Election?

Don't worry – here is your one-stop recap of things you will need to know to sound informed.

It is missing a few details, but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.

 

The Campaign

The Democratic candidate for this election was the ____________ (adjective) incumbent, President Barack Obama, and his ____________(verb ending in "ing") mate, Joe Biden. The Republican competitor was Mitt Romney and his conservative and ____________ (adjective) partner Paul Ryan. Both parties campaigned ____________ (adverb), visiting some states at least ____________ (number) time(s), to try and ensure their victories. The most ____________ (adjective) topics discussed included social ____________ (plural noun), such as women's rights and gay rights, economic policy and how to tax the most ____________(adjective) Americans and foreign policy, including how to handle illegal ____________ (plural noun).

 

The Debates

There were four main debates that likely affected this year's election. The presidential candidates ____________ (verb, past tense) three times, and the vice presidential candidates once. The third-party debates, while entertaining, probably did not ____________ (verb) a difference. President Obama did not argue or even speak much during the first debate, but by the last one he seemed ____________ (adjective) and was speaking  with real ____________ (noun). Most memorably, he cleverly pointed out how ____________ (adjective) it would be to return to old war techniques when soldiers utilized ____________ (plural animal) and bayonets, in reaction to Romney's argument about expanding the Navy. Meanwhile, Romney had a consistent, strong performance, but many viewers got distracted by his "____________" (verb ending in "ing") of Big Bird, his ____________ (plural school supply) of women and his depiction of Massachusetts as its own ____________ (noun). Not to be forgotten was the VP debate, where both candidates brought their A-game, but Biden could not stop ____________ (verb ending in "ing") at a joke that was never said, and Ryan was ____________ (adjective) defending Biden's accusations of "malarkey."

 

The Results

In the end, President Obama was re-elected and everyone yelled "____________ (exclamation)! Four more years of ____________ (adjective)!"

 

–By Celia Greenlaw