You live together, love each other, and want these romantic feelings to go on forever. But is it possible to keep a relationship as vivid as in the first days of dating? After all, lingering quarrels and irritation often appear to replace the tenderness of the rose and candy stage. Thoughts that love has passed are haunting, and it seems that in the future, you will get only a series of gloomy, dreary years. The transition from an all-consuming closeness to mutual respect is a difficult period in the life of a couple. Hence, there are disappointment and doubt: should we continue dating? Therefore, familiarize yourself with 5 sure ways to overcome these feelings and build a happy relationship with your loved one.
Tell each other what you like and dislike in your relationship
Many couples do not discuss such issues: everyone is convinced that a partner will guess everything by himself. But this, of course, does not happen. As a result, one suffers silently, and the second, thinking that everything is doing alright, continues to behave as usual.
So, start talking about the best and worst in your relationship until the words “I don’t like” do not turn into “I hate.” Sometimes, it is easier to write down what worries you: take a sheet of paper and list the best and worst things in your relationship. Then, exchange the sheets with your partner and discuss what is written. Such a simple technique will allow you to take your share of responsibility for the “worst” and understand what to do to fix your relationship.
Define rules and find common goals
Many couples live as if by inertia, without thinking about why they are doing this and what they expect from living together. But the lack of common goals can destroy relationships faster than constant conflicts. If your feelings are really strong, you are able to make an arrangement with each other and find a happy middle ground. Moreover, it is a good way for a happy life after 50.
Rules and everyday rituals play an important role in the relationship of a couple. But you do not need to invent them intentionally, as they already exist in your life together: someone takes a bath first, and someone always buys bread or pays for a parking lot. But often, it turns out that the established distribution of roles is convenient for one of the partners, while the other feels irritation and discomfort. So, the rules and everyday rituals should be negotiated.
Keep your individuality
Having lived together for some time, lovers may find that they are so “adapted” to each other that their individualities have changed a lot. The desire to keep up with a loved one, to make him happy, and to please him often leads a man or woman to the loss of own personality. The so-called “crisis of the third year of relations” is an attempt to return one’s selfhood, habits, and values. Thus, many people crave to change jobs or start studying. Sometimes a partner does not understand the reasons for what is happening, and romantic feelings gradually cool down. This is another reason for a calm, thorough conversation. After all, it is your individuality that has once attracted you to each other. There is no need to lose yourself in order to preserve a romantic relationship.
Do not accumulate anger
People often restrain anger and irritation because of the fear that such negative feelings will destroy their relationships. But it’s better to arrange a good fight than to keep in a grudge and guilt. Strong emotions do not mean that people no longer love each other – they just report a problem.
Anger is good because it helps people to call things as they are – it looks like a thunderstorm, after which the air becomes cleaner. When you unleash the wrath, be sure to figure out what caused it and try to discuss the problem with your loved one without engaging in personalities. If you yourself have become the cause of anger, be patient and listen to the accusations of a partner as if you listen to constructive criticism.
Learn to give thanks to each other
Many couples live in expectation of something more and do not appreciate what happens every day. It would seem what could be easier than thanking a loved one for something. However, this simple skill and the very willingness to give thanks to a beloved somewhere disappear when the couple lives together for a long time. Either one simply cannot open the mouth and say: “Thank you!” or the words turn into some kind of formal grumbling or verbose texts.
The unspoken etymology of the words “thank you” hints at the fact that this is not simple politeness, but something much more important. Thank each other even for the most insignificant things – a small gift, a walk, or a caring gesture of attention. Just say thank you, and your relationship will become stronger.