Sports Genie Thinks Rioting Is Sexist

Courtesy of Flickr.
Courtesy of Flickr.


After the University of Connecticut (UConn) Huskies won the NCAA basketball Tournament in Cinderella fashion, UConn students celebrated in fitting manner on Monday night.

They rioted.

I love a good riot. There is nothing better than seeing some young people let off some steam and having some good, clean, wholesome family fun. And there is no better way to do that than a good, old-fashioned riot.

We have not seen a good riot in ages. Back in the ’60s, they really knew how to riot. Angry hippies, disgruntled civil rights activists, feminists — they gave us some riots to remember.

Then in the ’90s, LA gave us a riot for the ages. And even today, the Russians have Pussy Riot.

But that was then. That is Russia. As a white, middle-class Texan, where is my riot?

That is why I am so thankful to the UConn students. They gave this country what it so desperately needed — a little jolt of passion.

According to Eyewitness News Three, which presumably is a local news affiliate in whatever city UConn is in, though I honestly do not care enough to confirm this fact, school buildings were trashed and students were arrested.

This is what sports are all about. Caring so much about a game that you destroy buildings where learning takes place. Being so moved by a Cinderella story that you go to jail while celebrating it.

I can think of very few events in my life that have moved me so much that I was tempted to riot. Is that a personal failing on my part? I am not completely sure, but it is definitely a sad fact that I do not often like to bring up at parties.

In fact, I cannot think of any time at all when I have felt the desire to riot that does not involve having just eaten some form of fried chicken.

On Tuesday night, the UConn women’s basketball team also won the NCAA Tournament — to be clear, the less important NCAA Tournament, that is, the women’s tournament.

Why do I say it is less important? Is it because I am sexist? No, it is because the facts speak for themselves.

No, I am not referring to the facts that demonstrate how fewer people watch the women’s tournament, that it makes less money and that women’s sports are just generally less interesting than men’s.

No, I am not saying any of those things. I have nothing but respect for women’s sports, especially college women’s basketball. In fact, it is one of my favorite things.

But the UConn students hate women’s sports. How do I know? Because they did not riot after the UConn women’s victory.

What kind of double standard is this? I find this situation to be incredibly problematic. After all, these UConn students are nothing if not essentialist.

Why would you not riot after your women’s basketball team won the national championship? I can say with absolute certainty that we at Emory would have painted the town red if the Emory women’s basketball team had won the championship. Because we care.

How do I know this? Just look at the wild reaction that the recent women’s swimming and diving national championship elicited. Our school literally went crazy after this incredible victory. Does UConn think that arrests and destruction to buildings are cool? Well, we went to class and the DUC just like normal. Suck it, UConn.

Real talk now. The problem here is not that people are not rioting after a women’s sporting event. Rioting is stupid, unless you are a Russian band.

People should not riot after any sporting event, men’s or women’s sports. But maybe people should pay just a little more attention to women’s sports. Especially when they win championships.

— By Bennett Ostdiek