The Emory Wheel's Articles in Poetry Form

Compiled by Jenna Kingsley Special Features/Social Media Editor

Based on Alex Rosenfeld's article "Love Transcends Cheesy Adjectives," Nov. 18 By Darby Jardeleza

I read somewhere that love transcends all words

Of adjectival nature, as they're trite.

I also read that metaphors, like birds,

May sing but still have hollow bones for flight

That break. Such metaphors–though fly they might

In poetry and prose alike–must draw

On other things as if you just weren't quite

Enough an inspiration, source of awe

Though you surprise me more than all I ever saw.

Based on second entry in Police Record, Nov. 14 By Micah Dettweiler

Two men of law ycladd in costume grim

Did amble justly down dark Eagle Row

When saw they straight a wight in front of them

Unthinking drop a joint as white as snow

And as when dam is burst and waters flow

The law thus rent, policemen quick did pounce

Regretted much the wight his smoky woe

As justice did the good police pronounce:

Citation for possession of a weedy ounce.

Based on Ben Crais and Anusha Ravi's editorial "Emory Community Should Question Israel,"  Nov. 25 and Alyssa Weinstein's and Nate Silverblatt's "Ask Us Why We  Love Israel," Nov. 25 By GiGi Moody

Peace can be such an evil utterance,

How double sided our ideals can be,

Peace is blood dripping from his countenance

Peace is the ignorance of you and me.

War and death but they call it Peace you see,

And with both sides hurling bombs all along,

Who has the right to claim peace as their plea?

This bullshit has been going on too long,

Please believe me when I say that both sides are wrong.

Based on Jake Choi's "'Interstellar' Shoots For Moon, Lands Among Stars," Nov. 11 "TARS" By Hiro Kusumoto

We leave the Earth to search the new frontier

Into the unexplored: the depths of space

The vast expanse-we learn from it each year.

While Europe's mission tried to lead the race

The other nations show they keep the pace.

Has Nolan's Interstellar guessed it right?

The film is fantasy, but in our case,

Is our burden to heavenward take flight?

If Earth should die, is there another home in sight?

Based on "Doolina Relieves Senior Stress," Nov. 14 By Lily Kronfeld

Doolina is the coolest girl at school

Although she has no curves she's quite a sight

Dooley and his skeleton friends all drool

She parties and loves to have fun at night

She tells Dooley to go and fly a kite

Styloid radius ulna and femur

With perfect measurements that are just right

These white strong shiny bones are quite demure

We have a new mascot that promotes girl power.

Correction 12/8 11:00 p.m.: The article was updated to correct the authors of the editorials.  Anusha Ravi and Ben Crais co-wrote"Emory Community Should Question Israel" and Alyssa Weinstein and Nate Silverblatt co-wrote "Ask Us Why We Love Israel." The authors were originally switched. 

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