By the time that the great staff of the Emory Wheel receives this article, corrects all of the mistakes that I have made (and there will most likely be plenty) and publishes this article, I will be done. D-O-N-E. These past two weeks have been absolutely insane in terms of how much work I have had to do. I am not complaining; the rest of you surely have also had just as much, if not more, to do. But I am sure we can agree that it was a miserable end to September.

In fact, this weekend I was so inundated with work that I was unable to catch any football games. Thankfully, that meant that I did not have to subject myself to the abomination known as the New York Jets. But still. Missing football was quite the sacrifice, and I hope to make it up to myself this weekend by not moving from my couch.

In reality, I am pretty blessed with how my workload turned out to be scheduled. Week 5 is, in my opinion, one of, if not the best, week in the regular season. This is a make-it-or-break-it week for many teams. At this point, almost one-third of the way through the season, we can begin to tell who is for real, who is not and which slumping contender is actually worse than we thought. Without further ado, let us go to the picks. (HOME TEAM IN CAPS)

 

Atlanta at WASHINGTON

 

RGIII! He is the literal definition of the man. After leading his high-powered Redskin offense to a victory against the hapless Buccaneers, Griffin welcomes the red-hot Atlanta Falcons to the capital city.

To give credit where it is due, Matt Ryan has actually lived up to the hype so far this season. That is great. Looking at his past history, however, Matt Ryan has actually been a very solid regular season quarterback. His big problem has been playoff performance.

We will discuss this as the season ends. I believe that Washington, behind Griffin and Alfred Morris, have the ability to be sneaky good this season. They have a tough schedule down the road, but if they can pull off an upset or two they could be looking at a wild card spot.

However, with the Redskin defensive giving up the most passing yards in the NFL, Sunday will not start the road to postseason play. Let’s go Falcons.

Atlanta 27 WASHINGTON 21

 

Denver at NEW ENGLAND

 

In both losses this season, the Denver Broncos have started off being down a billion trillion points, then Peyton does Peyton, but it is not quite enough because it is not Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison, and Dallas Clark as his supporting cast; instead it’s Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker, and Jacob Tamme.

I will say this now and say it again: this is a lot bigger of a problem than people think. Peyton has had a history of making receivers look a lot better than they actually are (see: Blair White, Austin Collie, Anthony Gonzalez, etc.).

On the other side, the Patriots were three points away from being undefeated. Their offense is virtually unstoppable, and that’s without Aaron Hernandez, right? Wrong.

The Buffalo Bills do a great job of making offenses look like Tom Landry stepped in for a few weeks (hello Jets!). But I think the recent victory, if anything, was a good confidence booster for Wes Welker, and will help prevent things like losing to the Cardinals from happening again. As for Peyton, although some believe that he will pull out his magic in New England, I do not see it happening.

NEW ENGLAND 34 Denver 24

 

Cleveland Browns at NEW YORK GIANTS

 

I picked this game just so I could talk about the Browns. Since it is pretty obvious that the Giants are going to pull off the victory, I would like to spend this space discussing the Cleveland Browns. To everyone from Cleveland, I apologize. Honestly. Every single sports team you guys have is absolutely atrocious. And it all stems from one of two reasons.

Reason number one: People hate Cleveland, so the good players leave, and no good players come. Reason number two: Everyone who runs a sports team in Cleveland is a complete idiot. What this leaves is a tradition of sadness and disappointment. But I have a fix for Cleveland owners: whenever you think of doing something, the complete 180-degree opposite is the right call.

Trying to draft a 28-year-old rookie quarterback? NO!!!! Trying to hire a coach that just washed up on the shores after getting booed out of his old town (Eric Mangini from the Jets)? STOP. NO!

Anyway, what I am most looking forward to this off-season is watching what happens when the Browns get the first overall pick, have the opportunity to draft Barkley and then do it. NOPE! Trade the pick for a bevy of high draft choices and help build up your team. Do not be stupid, Cleveland.

NEW YORK GIANTS 44 Cleveland 13

 

Needless to say, I was a kind of furious after missing a perfect week, thanks to two missed field goals. It was very unfortunate. And it will not happen again. As usual, be safe this weekend. I know I need that advice more than anyone after my library-binge these last few days.

 

LAST WEEK: 3-2 OVERALL 9-7

– By Jayson Patel 

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The Emory Wheel was founded in 1919 and is currently the only independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University. The Wheel publishes weekly on Wednesdays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions.

The Wheel is financially and editorially independent from the University. All of its content is generated by the Wheel’s more than 100 student staff members and contributing writers, and its printing costs are covered by profits from self-generated advertising sales.