Dear Doolina,
I’ve been admiring a tall, dark and handsome fellow in one of my classes I’ll call “Jack” for quite some time, but I would really like to get to know him as a person. Advice?
Sincerely,
Rose
Dear Rose,
The first thing I’d recommend is not comparing you and your would-be beau to Jack and Rose – comparisons to the “Titanic” are never pretty. You know Jack winds up dead, right? Even though there was CLEARLY enough space for both Jack and Rose on that piece of floating debris. Obviously your old pal Doolina has some unresolved issues with the “Titanic” movie, but I digress.
So let’s get this straight: you like boy, boy doesn’t know you exist. This seems like a classic romantic comedy situation (note for emphasis: “Titanic” does not equal rom com), so let’s refer to one of the greats: “Mean Girls.” According to “Mean Girls,” you should pretend you’re terrible at math to the point of flunking and get him to tutor you. Alternatively, sabotage Jack’s girlfriend by feeding her protein bars disguised as weight-loss supplements.
If neither of these options suit you, forget about grand moves and think small: can you ask Jack/Aaron Samuels a question about your shared class? If you develop a rapport about classes, try to transition that into studying together. Over time you’ll get to know your crush better, and you can decide whether you want to transition studying together into “studying” together. I hope you and Jack fall in sync just like the in the “Titanic!”
Delightfully,
Doolina
Dear Doolina,
I’m addicted to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space.” In the past 24 hours, I’ve listened to it on repeat and watched the video more times than I would care to admit. I fear that my growing affinity for Taylor Swift is diminishing my street cred. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Number One Fan
Dear Number One Fan,
I don’t see a problem here. Anyone’s who’s not listening to “Blank Space” on repeat right now deserves a hearty slap in the face (*disclaimer: I do not condone physical violence, though in some cases, like this one, it does seem like the best option, right?). As a member of the immortal community, I’m planning on putting “Blank Space” on repeat for forever and always – literally.
Delightfully,
Doolina
Dear Doolina,
I’m graduating in December and moving out to California to start the next chapter of my life. The problem is a boy from my church, whom I’ve had a crush on for the last two and a half years. Obviously I’m leaving in a few weeks and I know nothing can happen, but I’ve been going back and forth in my head about whether or not to tell him. Should I leave this chapter closed, or tell him before I leave?
Sincerely,
Tongue-tied
Dear Tongue-tied,
I’m a big proponent of leaving it all on the table. Soon enough, you’ll be leaving Atlanta and all your college memories behind. Do you want a feeling of regret lingering on your mind as you move across the country? I sure wouldn’t. The worst that can happen is you have an incredibly awkward conversation and make yourself vulnerable. But being vulnerable is the only way we open ourselves to all of life’s opportunities.
I recommend you take advantage of this one, and tell him how you feel. Worst comes to worse, you’ll be moving cross-country in a matter of weeks and you never have to see him again. Leave it all out on the table, and you’ll leave with no regrets.
Delightfully,
Doolina
The Emory Wheel was founded in 1919 and is currently the only independent, student-run newspaper of Emory University. The Wheel publishes weekly on Wednesdays during the academic year, except during University holidays and scheduled publication intermissions.
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